I’m tired.

I’m tired of smiling.

I’m tired of dressing up the truth.

I’m tired of my own relentless optimism.

I’m tired of hoping for some magical “big break”.

I’m tired of my own creeping pessimism.

I’m tired of realism. Reality can be overrated.

I’m tired of supporting talented people and not seeing it go anywhere.

I’m tired of supporting talented people who go somewhere, whilst I don’t.

I’m tired of typing out tax receipts to file with Revenue and Customs for the privilege of being sent a tax bill.

I’m tired of watching money come in and go out.

I’m tired of taking 2 steps towards God, then 3 back towards sin.

I’m tired of Labour, the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats.

I’m tired of editing videos that few people watch.

I’m tired of putting out a podcast, begging for someone to reply.

I’m tired of promoting an eBook that many said I should compile, but few actually bought.

I’m tired of being so self-absorbed.

I’m tired of hoping my style of comedy will speak for me.

I’m tired of sleeping on my mattress.

I’m tired of mice trying to force their way into my abode, for warmth and food.

They must be tired of me trying to keep them out/kill them.

I’m tired of showering. ¬†Is there a less fussy way to stay clean?

I’m tired of using Instagram to make it seem like everything in my life happens in a world of vintage where everything is blurry except for what I’m looking at.

I’m tired of tweeting. #TiredOfTweeting

I’m tired of trying to make people proud.

I’m tired of hoping Nigeria will get better.

I’m tired of pretending my mind doesn’t come up with some outlandish stuff.

I’m tired of having a body that would happily trade lifetime bliss for momentary pleasure.

I’m tired of being concerned about being black.

I’m tired of being told to dumb it down.

I’m tired of being told who I should be.

I’m tired of being asked why I’m not like someone else.

I’m tired of watching awesome TV shows that I feel I could never have written.

I’m tired of hiding.

I’m tired of texting on a touchscreen.

I’m tired of Croydon.

I’m tired of mediocrity.

I’m tired of not being able to laugh at comedy because I’m too busy deconstructing it.

I’m tired of being crap at playing my Playstation.

I’m tired of justifying my career choice.

I think if anything, I’m even tired of being tired.

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150 thoughts on “I’m tired.

  1. I feel better knowing that I’m not the only one that is tired. Sometimes it feels better for me to just write in a private journal, so i can release all my thoughts without thinking about the reaction. By just saying that everything will get better, you give yourself hope, and no one can get better without hope. Hey have you heard of the Chinese artist Ai WeiWei? Really kool guy. Look him up.

  2. congrats on being freshly pressed. What a nice poem. I get tired when I have a failed purpose and have to keep on keeping on with the dance of life. I see a lot of mountain tops to climb for the artists as others depend on us to keep them from being tired or failing. Lead On Bro!!!

  3. Hi Ola, This time of the year can make people feel like that, or sometimes make things seem worse. Thought I’d post a site I found on famous depressed people awhile back: http://www.depression-help-resource.com/articles/famous-depressed-people.htm
    and a site for encouraging bible verses as the scriptures have been and continue to be a help to me when I was/whenever I am going through hard times: http://www.thebiblepost.com/encouraging-bible-verses as well as a site for finding counseling from a Christian perspective: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/articles/consider_counseling.aspx They have a phone number to call too: 1-800-A-Family (232-6459) weekdays 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (Mountain Time). Please remember this verse from psalms 119:50: This is what comforts me in my troubles: that what you say revives me. God bless. ~Casey

  4. And being tired does not have to mean giving up no? More than “we are with you” is “God will never leave you nor forsake you. He has engraved you in the palms of His hands.”

    • I’m glad you can relate. Also, you can probably see many of those commenting are tired also, but there’s encouragement and inspiration in God and the hope that comes from believing He has a plan.

  5. This is perfectly written. Some days I feel tired of being tired too! And I think I go through a good bulk of the “I’m sick of……” phase. I get sick of my pessimism, then sick of trying to be positive, then sick of real optimism. Anyway, perfect post! It’s something I rant about every day but never got down to having it written. Well done there and congrats on FP :)

  6. I often feel this way too – just tired of it all and yet can’t wait for that morning cup of coffee to get all excited about the next thing I will tire of by day’s end. Loved the Instragram line – so true!

  7. Pingback: to everyone like me ‘ I’m tired.’ « nasvn

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