Friend: How’s your girl?
Guy: Unfortunately, we broke up.
Friend: What did you do to her?
I think our society is still genuinely a little bit shocked when heinous sexual stories involve a woman in the lead role. Whilst I have female friends who definitely do like to gossip about other women, I have plenty of male friends who can spend many an evening re-counting stories of the filth that some female has been up to.
Now many of these stories will be second, third and even sixth hand but their potency never wears. Why is this? Because the image of women being “made of sugar and spice and all things nice” is a myth that needs to be perpetuated for both sexes in the heterosexual world. Men need to somehow believe in the virtue of a woman, as it allows them to hold their mother in high regard, and scrutinise their fathers, giving them all an oedipal peace of mind. Women need to believe they hold a moral high ground in society because it allows them to slap men in public with protection from the law and no fear of retribution.
However, the dark side of this coin is the “Girls Gone Wild” phenomenon. It only makes us all so further intrigued when a woman is found to be promiscuous, freaky or guilty of some infidelity. Now, this is the reason why yesterday Twitter lit up with abuse being spewed at Rita Ora for allegedly cheating on her boyfriend, Rob Kardashian, with 20 other men. “Rita Whora” is not just a title given to her for her actions, but also a charge that takes into account the fact that she is a woman.
A friend of mine pointed out this double standard on Twitter, claiming “patriarchy is real”. Now this may truly be the case, but is it still Patriarchy when women uphold these viewpoints themselves? I’m not so sure. As I claimed before, I think both genders need this sugar and spice misconception for their own sense of normality.
Now the stories I hear get increasingly ridiculous. I’m not sure how much good I’m doing by putting them out, but just so you know the ridiculousness of it…I’ll give you a few humdingers (in a somewhat censored way).
- I heard there was this one girl who performed oral sex on her boyfriend while he was on the toilet. He had diarrhoea at the time.
- I heard there was one girl who slept with 11 guys from the same school, so all the guys got football shirts printed with numbers displaying the order in which they had her.
- I heard one girl had 17 guys run a train on her at uni and then still had time to perform oral sex on 4 more.
- There was one girl who was in bed with her boyfriend and his best friend. The boyfriend passed out drunk so she had sex with his best friend right next to him.
- I heard one girl performed a “rim job” on the first date.
Did they shock you?
Are you disgusted?
Are you questioning my integrity right now?
Or are you merely entertained?
Whichever it is, I urge you to switch genders in the stories above and let me know if you feel the exact same way as you did originally. Some will be the same, but I assure you, some will make you feel different. What this hopefully shows is that we all somehow have different expectations of men and women, however you see it. So it’s all well and good presuming all women to be virtuous, but can you now see the downside?
NB: Do not try to guess, ask me, or identify the women in the stories, even if you’re sure you know who they are.