Isn’t it funny how guys have to act tough? Hahaha! Isn’t it funny how they can’t express their feelings! If only they could be like women! If only they could talk to each other and share every intimate detail, the world would be a better place!
If you don’t sense the sarcasm in what I’ve written, kindly, log off my website, delete it from your history, clear your cache and temporary internet files, gently lay your head down and make a head sandwich using your screen and keyboard as bread.
Talking has its uses. Heck, I talk for a living. However, there is something you learn when you talk for a living, and it’s the importance of things left unsaid. I can be quite open and exposed on stage, being very honest, however, these are calculated risks that are carefully taken. I could murder my own career by saying too much.
Women have been given this title to bear of the great communicators of our time and what they don’t realise is that the crown sits heavy. The problem with talking is, you can control what you say, but you can’t control what is heard. We engage in an implicit contract every time we talk to someone that they will listen attentively, be fair, not mock you, maintain silence where needed and process the things you say. As I have observed from many a female friend, this is not the case. I know female friends who when together will tell you they are ready to die for each other. However, I also know they are actively keeping secrets from one another.
To bring all this wishy washy commentary into perspective, lets look at everyone’s favourite topic, relationships. At many points during my early university days I was “that guy”. I was the partystarter and whippersnapper. I dated a few girls whilst there and everyone knew it. They knew down to the very last detail. I was never private about things. I just figured everyone’s my friend, they all wish me well…right? WRONG. Most people who will listen to your situation or even problems, do not care, they simple want something interesting to listen to.
The truth is that I saw who really cared when things went wrong in these relationships and I stopped starting the parties and snapping the whippers. People who I had opened up to would avoid me, become cold or pass judgments from afar. So I embraced my Public Enemy Number 1 status, “threw my middle finger up to the haters” and refused to learn the real lesson.
It has taken much reflection and observation to notice that the guys who got away with the worst of things simply did so because no one knew (Of course one or two people knew). Not saying I wanted to be a bad guy, but I did want to enjoy their privileges if I were to mess up.
There are many assumptions we make when someone asks us about a current relationship. The main one is that they care. We are often wrong. Here are a few reasons why:
- Some people just need to know the latest gossip. I’m still waiting for curiosity to kill these cats…violently.
- Some people have a vested interest in the situation. You can usually tell this from the angle at which they come with their questions. “How’s your relationship going? How long is that now? Do you really see this going all the way?”
- Some people have already heard the gossip and want to goad you into telling them so they have legitimacy in talking about it to other people. I hope they suffer a pain so bad they pray for the treatment given to those in Number 1.
- Some simply just know what’s best for you…right? For some stupid reason, women have continuously let their lives be micromanaged by a friend of theirs who is a Know-It-All. Simple solution, ask her some questions, look at her life and see if it’s perfect. Oh..it isn’t? Surprise Surprise idiot.
- Some simply want you to miserable. Misery does love company. Misery also hates to lose previously held company. If you and your girls have spent months congregating to bash men and pick them apart at each turn, do NOT expect them to be genuinely happy for you when you meet the man of your dreams and decide to woman up.
All of these people will gladly collect your information, but will use it to destroy you. It strikes me as ridiculous, the number of times I’ve seen a girl have a problem with her boyfriend and speak to everyone but the boyfriend about it. Heck I don’t even know why some of you women are listening to me talk about what it is, you do wrong. So when your speaking make sure you’re saying the right amount to the right person.
Or better yet, write a very vague blog about it.