My boyfriend and I get on like a house on fire. We’re, dare I say it, perfect for each other. However I know deep down he would like to enjoy physical pleasure with other women. I give him everything he wants and he does the same for me but I don’t feel comfortable about this at all. I’ve thought about a break for him to enjoy himself then come back, but if he gave himself to another woman it would hurt me. I don’t know if I could get past it. I am also aware that even if he never does it, he’ll forever wonder and/or think about other women. What do I do?
First of all, may I say, you’re an awesome partner. To understand the above and not freak out is the first step. Secondly to further your understanding, it’s quite normal and widespread for men to think of a plethora of women. It’s a natural response. Those who believe in evolution will tell you it’s vital for the survival of our species. Those who are of faith will tell you it’s the body’s sinfulness. What cannot be denied is that a lot of men think of having sex with a lot of women. It is not that he doesn’t want you. It is that he wants variety.
Men have a tendency to separate physical pleasure from emotions so do not worry yourself that he doesn’t love you as much as you think he does. You cannot blame someone for feeling a certain way, that is not their choice. It is only the subsequent actions which people actually choose, that they can be responsible for.
The good news in all this is that you don’t have a decision to make. You need not do a thing. The decision is his. He can go for physical pleasure with other women and possibly lose a great relationship. He could also forever be curious but suck it up and enjoy himself with you. This is a burden most men bear and deal with. The best thing you can do is stay awesome. If you’re more adventurous and creative than the average girl, try role-play. Pretend to be someone else and that’ll keep things exciting. He gets to be with the same person but experience a range of outcomes. Maybe start small, and do a different accent for a day. Try an outfit you’d never wear normally but think he’d like. He’ll be so intrigued in exploring all these new sides to you, his eyes won’t have time to linger elsewhere.
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Comment below with your own responses and dilemmas.