Keep Her in Her Lane

“How can she be so hot and irritating at the same time!?”

I’ve met many beautiful girls in my time on at least 4 different continents.  I guess this would lead me to say, as much as I appreciate beauty in a woman, I’m not always so fazed by it.

People have caught me looking at a beautiful girl and tried to imply something else.  I like to remind them that this is the purpose of beauty. It’s to be enjoyed by the eye.  It means nothing else unless I make it something else.

I used to work in Abercrombie and Fitch who have a distinct policy of hiring good-looking people, as you can tell by the fact that I worked there.  So pretty much all of my co-workers were good-looking in some conventional sense of the word.  After a while they just seem like normal humans to you, as opposed to the transcendent goddesses your adolescent hormones try to paint them as.  Guys, once you realise this and you are comfortable and secure with yourself, you are then ready to receive this gem i’m about to drop.

A lot of us guys make mistakes with women because we cross their lanes in our minds.  I’ll give analogies before the main point.

If a painting looks beautiful, you are encouraged to look at it, but not necessarily touch it.

If a floor looks clean, you may be convinced to walk on it barefoot, but not eat off of it.

If a comedian is hilarious, you may want to buy a ticket to hear his set and laugh as opposed to asking him to take his top off. (True Story)

So if we extend this theory, a beautiful woman is simply for looking at.  Too many of us extract more than is necessary and end up crossing lanes because a girl is beautiful.  For some guys, a woman’s beauty is a reason to start a relationship, spend money on her or even sleep with her.  These do not and should not follow.

A girl who cooks may not necessarily be wife material if she serves every dish with a side of sharp tongue.  A woman who makes you laugh may not be the person to confide in, especially with sensitive information.  A girl who is simply good looking may be a terrible conversationalist, so you may need to stop deceiving yourself into believing one day she’ll stop talking about her favourite nail polish colour names.

The truth is, if you look back at most relationships that didn’t work out, somewhere along the line, you crossed lanes.

Think of a previous partner.


What did you like about her?

She was stunningly beautiful.

Why did you ask her to be with you?

She was stunningly beautiful.

Why did you break up?

Because we fought all the time, she couldn’t cook, she had a completely different world view and I was never good enough for her.

If she came to you now and said you should give it another go, would you?



She is stunningly beautiful.

Stop making this mistake guys.   Not everything is a reason to start a relationship. If you’re ever in a situation and are a little unsure, please refer to the list below.

1. She’s Good Looking – then she’s good for looking at.

2. She cooks well – enjoy her food

3. She loves the Lord – discuss godly things with her

4. You like how she loves to play mind games – play mind games with her

5. You like the way she dances – dance with her

6. She dresses well – admire her outfits.

7. She sings well – listen to her sing

8. She writes well – read her writing

9. You find her extremely sexy – Hold yourself

10. You make an excellent team – Maybe then consider a relationship, then marriage then revisit number 9 with a different approach and all your might.


3 thoughts on “Keep Her in Her Lane

  1. And yes it’s absolutely true.. All too often me. Run after these “good looking” girls who have very little offer except a quality they had no say in having and in so doing teach women that all they will ever be appreciated for is their looks (natural or fake) we live in an age where good looking women are famous for nothing more than the series penises they have had inside them and wonder why.

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