“I do everything she asks and she’s never happy *sob*sob*”
Can you relate to the phrase above? Oh you can? You know why?
Because you’re a punk.
Yes, i’m not sad or sorry to say it, but you’re a punk. How do I know? Because I used to be that punk also.
We’re facing a real emasculation problem in our Western societies these days. There are many reasons for this. The rise of Feminism has thrown off the previously widely accepted notion of gender roles. The breakdown of the nuclear family has lead most families to not just be single parent (mother) families but perpetuate the notion that fathers are surplus. Media portrayals of men and manhood have done their part. What we have now are a bunch of young men who know not who they are, what their purpose is and equally as important, what they stand for.
The problem with the guy in the quote is that he has lost his testicles to the belief that it’s safer to just assume he’s always wrong. Let me drop a bomb on you guys, and the ladies reading this.
THE FACT THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS UPSET BY YOUR ACTIONS DOES NOT MAKE THEM WRONG.
Let that digest for a second. I know, it’s deep right. When your girlfriend goes off at you, your first instinct is to think what did I do wrong? You know what? Sometimes the answer is nothing, but you’re waiting for her to tell you that. I have news for you, she wont tell you that because humans rarely admit when they’re wrong when they dont have to. Sometimes you need to let her know that you know she’s upset, you sympathise with her, but she will not have her way and the sooner she accepts this, the sooner you can move on.
Now this isn’t to say it’s a good thing or an advisable thing to upset your woman. The Bible says a man that loves his wife is a man that loves himself. It makes sense to please your woman. However, you CANNOT afford to use her emotions as a moral compass. Let me drop a few facts on you.
1. Women make mistakes.
2. Women can be irrational.
3. Women can be stupid.
4. Women can be egotistical.
5. Women can be disgusting.
6. Women can be short-sighted.
7. Women can be proud.
8. Women can be lustful.
9. Women can be greedy.
10. Women can be vulgar.
I know! It seems almost sacrilegious to type that. If you’re so uncomfortable with that truth, try replacing “Women” with “Men” in every single one of those statements and it should be more recognisable. Then switch it to “Humans” and that’ll be a smaller safer jump to make. Then remember that women are humans too and you’re right back at what I just told you. Hope that smoother transition helped.
The very shocking nature of the truth is what leads men to constantly doubt their own abilities to be responsible, sensible or even lead. Well men, let me give you a guiding principle.
GET SOME PRINCIPLES!
You see, sometimes you will be wrong and she will be right. Sometimes it’s vice versa. Sometimes neither of you are wrong but you just disagree. The only way you’ll be able to navigate around these situations is to have some principles. You should have well-thought out issues you believe in passionately. You should have carefully informed viewpoints. You should have non-negotiable terms. Most importantly, you must stick to them.
Here’s the secret guys. She wants to see that in you. A principled man is attractive to a woman, because she knows she can depend on him, trust him and follow him. If she knows one of your principles is to listen to people when they speak, and you follow through on this, she may just close her mouth the next time you ask her to be quiet. From most guys she may take offence at such an instruction, but from you, it’s authoritative, it’s powerful and it’s trustworthy.
Also do not get this twisted guys, as this is not a guide to controlling women. In fact one of my guiding principles is to always let a woman be who she wants to be. What I am advocating is being the kind of man your woman WANTS to follow.
You see the interesting thing is, in a broad sense of the word, women respond. So you as a man must lead. If you don’t lead, her response will be to attempt to take the lead. The problem is, as much as she will do it, she doesn’t really want to lead. So she will just respond to other stimuli. So she’ll complain that you’re not romantic enough. You know why? because she’s responding to a vision of romance given to her by a Hollywood film she’s just seen. So you run out and recreate the movie scene and she’ll come to you and say you don’t treat her with enough respect. Last night she was happy, but today she’s spent time talking to her girlfriends who dont like you, so now you start wondering if she’ll ever just be happy. She won’t. Well women have plenty of leads to follow, you just have to make yours the most attractive. You need to be able to look at the situation and see if her friends have a point, or if they need to butt out and mind their business. Only a principled man can be objective enough with himself to do that.
Did you ever notice how some guys seem so sweet, do everything women want, but always get passed over by women? You ever said or thought women just like bad boys? Well there’s a lesson to learn from both the good boy and the bad boy. When you do the principled RIGHT THING the good boy does, with the same amount of conviction and confidence as the bad boy…you get the unique opportunity to teach her what she wants.
If you’re a guy, please comment below with at least one of your guiding principles.
One of mine is “Anything you have to force a girl to do isn’t worth having”